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A social media lady 27, narrated on Reddit she broke up with her boyfriend of ten years because he didn’t get her anything for my birthday.
She wrote
For some context, me (27F) and my boyfriend (34M) (we’ll call him Joe) have been together for a little over ten years. We were supposed to be getting engaged a couple of years ago but it kept getting pushed back due to personal reasons on his part. I work and Joe does not but he receives money from the government. He gets about €1100 a month and I make a little over 2k. Me and Joe have both been saving for the past ten years to get married and start a family. This is a long one so I’m sorry in advance.
Joe’s biggest hobby is gaming and collecting limited editions of games, statues and everything else like that. I would say in the past ten years that I have been with him he has spent well over €40,000+ on games and collectibles. He had this hobby when I met him and I never tried to change that. I was a little concerned what the future would look like but Joe promised me that when it was time to have kids and get married he would sell everything except for a few things he really wanted to keep. I had no reason to doubt him. But in the last four years things have gotten really bad. Joe has a really big spending addiction and in the last four years has spent about €15,000+ on his hobby. This year alone he has spent close to €5,000.
Every time I mention the wedding or finally starting a family (I’ve been ready for years) he always says he wants us to be more financially stable. The problem is, he’s blowing through his savings and is not slowing down. He keeps promising me after every big purchase that he will stop and this is the last time and he doesn’t need anything else. But then a few weeks/a month later he buys something else really expensive. These last two months he’s spent about €3,000. I’ve tried talking to him so many times and telling him how I feel and my worries, he tells me I’m completely right and it will stop. 3 weeks ago he bought a limited edition PlayStation that was €1100, 4 limited controllers that were €350, 2 weeks later an Xbox series X that was €333 and last night he came home with an €1800 tv that I knew nothing about until after.
We got into a huge fight and I demanded that he take it back to the store to get his money back or I was finally done because he keeps breaking his promise to me. He told me he was not taking it back and if I wanted to leave then I should just leave. Today is my birthday and I have not heard from him. No Happy Birthday message at midnight (that I would normally receive when we’re apart) and he told me he didn’t get me any gifts because he couldn’t find anything.
I cried myself to sleep and I’ve spent the whole day in bed. My heart is broken. I feel like I’ve wasted the last ten years on someone that was never really serious. He’s proven to me I will never be his number one priority. We’re supposed to be starting a family and I feel that he’s throwing it all away. I don’t have time to waste anymore. I don’t know if I’m making a mistake by leaving but I’ve never been so unhappy and things don’t seem to be changing. I don’t know if I’m overly emotional because he didn’t get me anything for my birthday or because he’s constantly lying.
Any advice is welcome, even if it’s negative towards me. I need other people’s perspectives.
Thank you
