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A 29 - years- old lady who is married to a 30-years-old man explains on Reddit that her husband randomly pulls out porn on his phone during the middle of sex with her.
She wrote
First I’d like to say that my husband and I have never really had conversations about porn in depth. Our sex life is/or was? Pretty amazing. Sex probably about 7-8 times a week, always spicing things up. Both of us always very verbal about how much we satisfy each other.
Well, ball from left field unexpectedly hit me right in the face 2 nights ago.. when I say this was extremely unexpected I mean it, I would’ve NEVER expected this..
About 5 minutes into sex, everything is amazing, as always, he seems super turned on like always and then suddenly he pauses, turns to the night stand and grabs his phone. I’m immediately confused but I’m thinking I maybe missed it ringing? I’m not sure. Then, he says watch this and it’s a woman on a very popular porn site, which even more unfortunately for me, looks similar to me. Same features anyways…
I was in shock at this point because the only very short conversation about porn we’ve had was about how we don’t watch because we BOTH don’t feel the need because of how active and amazing our intimacy is.
I looked up at him, after he continued for about 30 secs, and was overwhelmed and embarrassed and couldn’t control my emotions and I started bawling.
I don’t like to cry in front of anyone so I mean, I was crushed. My heart felt like it dropped, my chest hurt so bad, and my head was in complete shock.
I’m his wife, and somehow he thinks it’s a good idea to pull out a video of another woman to watch while I’m naked in front of him? It made me feel completely worthless and used at the same time. I felt disgust. I actually can’t put into words, the lasting effects of this are uncertain because now every time he touches me I can’t shake the feeling of that moment.
He’s now apologized his fair share of times explaining it was bad judgement and that sometimes he feels like he “isn’t enough “ for me which I felt like it was gaslighting me into feeling sorrow for his actions. I’m feeling rage and numbness at the same time.
I’d like to hear other takes on this, as I’m completely embarrassed and feel so let down and honestly I’m not sure
how to overcome this.
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